Success in the Multi-Cat Family

Many cat lovers are not satisfied with a single cat; they are so smitten by their feline friend that they are consumed by the desire to have two, or even more cats as family pets. However, done incorrectly this can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the litter-box. Having fostered more than 400 kittens and cats over the past decade, my husband and I have encountered this many times - both in our own cat family and in the homes of the people who have adopted our foster pets. I have come up with the following advice for cat owners considering expanding their furry family.

The first question I recommend that prospective multi-cat owner ask themselves is: "should I even get a second/another cat?" The most important thing to realize in this context is that cats are not naturally pack animals. Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in devoted and highly structured family units, cats are solitary creatures. Exceptional cases do arise, but in general the only affectionate multi-animal scenario in the feline world in the mother-kitten relationship. Because cats are usually born in litters of at least 2 or 3 (and often more), there is generally a second level relationship among littermates. However, the attachment between mummy and kitten is the strongest, and it is invariably affectionate. In fact, there are those who suggest that your cat's affectionate attachment to you is transference of this relationship - essentially they consider you their 'mummy' and the younger they are when you adopt them, likely the stronger this relationship will be.

I personally believe that the attachment cats develop for humans is probably more to do with individual personalities (both cat and human), but whatever the reasons and mechanisms, it's definitely true that it is a lot easier to get a cat to love you than it is to get them to love another cat. So, ask yourself candidly if you really need a second (or third, or fourth) cat. And, if you have gotten away with two, don't be fooled into thinking that you will necessarily be problem free with more. Each cat has his or her own unique personality and hang-ups - just like people. Our own personal experience was that cat number two dovetailed perfectly into our family, right up until we introduced cat number three.

Presuming that I have not talked you out of the idea by now, that you are determined to have a multi-cat household, here are my suggestions for increasing your chances of smooth success. First, consider going multi-cat right from the start. Ideally, adopt a mother and her kitten. This can be especially successful if the mother is under one year old which, sadly, has been the case far too often for the mother cats we've helped rescue. You can also consider adopting litter-mates and chances are almost as good that things will work out well, but this is by no means guaranteed. Keep in mind also that reintroducing mummy and kitten and/or littermates after a period of separation can be no different that introducing feline strangers. Our experience has been that cats have the capacity to remember people and other cats for about three weeks, on average. Some forget you, or their mother, kittens or siblings, in as little as 2 weeks. If you are a cat owner who has used a boarding kennel for kitty and come back from vacation only to get the cold shoulder from your pet, consider the possibility that this may not be so much a case of punishing you, as one of kitty having forgotten who you are - at least a bit.

If you already have a cat and this option is not available to you, then great care is essential. I cannot give you a definitive recipe for success, but I do suggest the following. First, adopt from a humane society that fosters the cats in a home setting. If the cat you are adopting is known to be good with other cats, then the battle is half won. Consider fostering yourself; see how your current cat reacts to other cats. Ideally both cats should be neither aggressive nor timid with other cats. One of each, for example, is not a good combination; you are setting the stage for a bully and victim relationship. This can sometimes lead to worse problems than two aggressive cats. You may not be fortunate enough to happen on two cats who both actually enjoy the company of other cats but, at the least, you should aim for two that are indifferent to each other. If you simply do not have the opportunity to assess how your current and prospective cats are around other cats, then your most promising scenario would be to introduce a kitten as your second cat. You should probably also plan to get a cat of the opposite gender from your current cat - we have found that this can be quite conducive to friendly relations.

How you introduce your new cat into the household can also have a significant impact on the success of the ultimate relationship between these two. A gradual introduction can go a long way to smoothing the path towards friendship. Many people make the mistake of dumping the new cat into the middle of the household environment, which has the distinct potential of eliciting an aggressive reaction from the incumbent cat. I suggest you start by confining the new cat to a single room of the house, and let the two get to know each other first by smell and sound. After a few days, if things are progressing well, you can introduce the two for brief periods, under close supervision. The speed with which you increase the duration of these face to face sessions will really depend on how things go between the two cats.

Whatever you do - don't give up too quickly. It can take weeks for things to settle down and even the most acrimonious introductions seldom actually lead to injury for either cat. And remember, however long or short, and rough or smooth the adjustment period, always be sure to provide one more litter-box than the number of cats in your household. Even if cats get along well, they seldom like to share the 'facilities'.

Finally, be sure to spay or neuter all your cats - not only will this make them less likely to fight and spray urine, there is an endless supply of homeless orphans, many of whom end up abandoned and suffering, or euthanized, for lack of suitable adoptive homes. It is irresponsible for us to let our pets breed and contribute to their numbers. Best of luck!

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Success After Failure - Even Genghis Khan Lost Some Early Battles

Both the worst and the best of the great achievers had the belief in themselves and the resilience to overcome early failures. One of these was none other than Genghis Khan. There are powerful lessons we can learn from him.

In 1162 a child, called Temujin, was born in Mongolia clutching a blood clot - a sign that he was destined to be a great warrior. Signs like these encouraged Temujin to believe in his own ability despite early defeats. We, too, need to believe in our own ability, power and destiny.

Temujin came to rule the largest land empire ever known. It was four times the size of the empire of Alexander the Great and twice the size of the Roman Empire. But success only came after failure.

Temujin, who later became known as Genghis Khan, was the son of a tribal warrior chief in Mongolia. When he was nine his father was poisoned by a rival tribe. Temujin commented: "From that day I would never be a child again."

His tribe was little more than an extended family They were at risk unless they forged links with other tribes. Temujin wisely enlarged his tribe through marriage with Borte.

However, even an alliance with Borte's clan did not make him safe. The tribes of Mongolia were locked in a spiral of vendettas. There was only one law on the steppes: "Take what you want."

The Merkit tribe had once feuded with Temujin's father. Now Temujin was in danger and his new wife was especially vulnerable. The scene was set for his first failure.

The Merkit's stole Temujin's wife on a raid. Temujin failed to defend his wife and prevent her capture. He was faced with accepting defeat and escaping or staying and dying. Temujin escaped:

"They had taken my wife. I knew what I had to do. Only a fool fights a battle he knows he cannot win."

His wife too had to submit to her captor or die. She submitted. Temujin may have been beaten in a skirmish by the Merkit but he was not defeated. He made plans to get his wife back and take his revenge.

He could rely on his blood brother, Jamuka: "I had just one friend I could trust." But he needed even more support. He and Jamuka sought the help of a khan who was once the blood brother of Temujin's father: "I told him he was as a father to me. A man who seeks power needs friends who have power."

He was accepted by the khan. Temujin was delighted: "My power had been increased by heaven and earth." The man who later conquered the world knew the importance of support from the powerful.

He now went looking for his wife at the Merkit camp, rescued her and took his revenge: "We made the Merkits pay for their deed. We destroyed their families and emptied their breasts."

Temujin was barely 20 and he had already eliminated one of Mongolia's great tribes, rescued his wife and had turned his first failure into victory. He had also begun to build his power base.

Nine months later Borta gave birth to his son. There was some doubt as to who was the father but Temujin again turned defeat into victory by treating him as his own son. His pragmatic, practical approach helped him throughout his life.

However, there was tension between Temujin and Jamuka who in the early days shared the leadership of the tribe. They disagreed over how you value a man's worth. Both were sons of aristocrats. But only only Temujin had really suffered adversity.

After his father was murdered Temujin experienced betrayal by his own people: "Our tribe deserted us. Men are loyal only to a strong leader. They left us with nothing. We had no friends but our own shadows. Like the wolf, we endured and from hardship I grew strong. Now I cared only for the strength in a man's heart. A warrior does not win a battle by virtue of his birth."

Temujin rewarded ability and loyalty alone. One of his most promising warriors, Subuday, was the son of humble herdsman. Jamuka, however, believed high rank should only be reserved for aristocrats His blood brother was throwing out the old ways. The gulf widened between them.

A shaman said that Temujin and his sons would rule the whole surface of the world This was a decisive moment for Jamuka who now wished to move away from their homeland. Temujin realised that disunity would follow.It did.

Two years later Jamuka's men ambushed Temujin's tribe. It was a huge defeat. Again the future world conqueror had failed.

"My army was unprepared, outnumbered and outwitted; the earth was soaked with the blood of my warriors." Temujin knew how to face reality and admit his own responsibility but the worst was to come.

Jamuka lined up the generals of his blood brother and had them thrown alive into a cauldron of boiling water.

When Temujin heard of the atrocity he swore a vow: "By the power of heaven, I swore to gain my vengeance. Never again would I be defeated nor my loyal warriors so dishonoured."

He told his warriors: "They say the Mongols are descended from the wolf. Like the wolf we are famous for our ferocity and courage but to win a battle we have to fight fiercely not as individual warriors but as parts of a whole."

Temujin trained his warriors to a high standard and in 1204 rode west in search of his blood brother and his army.

Jamuka was the first to face an army that eventually conquered much of the surface of the earth. Temujin's men advanced in silence saving their battle cries till the last. He used discipline, teamwork and controlled tactics to defeat Jamuka.

Arrows were released and then "my cavalry attacked without mercy." Each tactic was meticulously planned. One squadron fled luring Jamuka's men into a trap.

Jamuka saw his army destroyed and ran. His men lay like "felled logs in the forest." He hid through winter of 1204. In spring, he reappeared escorted by two of his generals who expected a reward.

Temujin rewarded the two generals with death for their disloyalty to their khan and gave Jamuka the chance to rejoin him. But Jamuka knew there could only be one ruler so he simply asked for a noble death in which none of his blood would be shed. Temujin granted his blood brother's final wish. Two warriors bent him backwards over some logs breaking his back. Both early failures had been revenged. Defeat had been turned into victory.

Temujin was declared universal ruler In 1206 at the age of 44. A new title was created to honour him which meant "Ruler of all men" i.e. Genghis Khan. It was declared that: "All who hear him shall obey him."

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More Success Tips From Strictly Come Dancing 2006

'Strictly Come Dancing' is a dancing competition where a professional champion dancer is paired with an amateur. The couple with the lowest marks are expelled each week. Points are awarded by four judges and by the viewing audience.

The program contains success tips which can be applied to other activities as well as dancing. You can, for example, guarantee that there will be at least one critic ready to snipe at you as soon as you attempt anything outside the ordinary. The winning dancers can show us how to deal with such criticism.

Successful competitors learn to get over criticism which they feel is unfair or to use it as motivation. If the criticism is justified, they will try to put right whatever is criticised.

Karen Hardy, the professional dancer, who eventually won the competition with her amateur partner, the cricketer Mark Ramprakash, actually thanked the judges for their criticisms:

"I have to say thank you to the judges because they got me mad."

She knew how to let the criticism motivate her to greater action: "If anybody kicks me down, they will get a tyrant coming back."

However, Karen also knew how to respond to justified criticisms:

"They all had valid points. Len picked up on technical faults. My job now is to get back in the studio and correct my faults and hope they don't show up again."

Carol Smillie and her partner, Matthew Cutler, felt she had been unfairly criticised by the judges in the fifth week of 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

Carol and Matthew believed that they had received nothing but criticism while all of the good things they had done were ignored. No one likes criticism but most of us can accept some criticism so long as it is spiced with some praise and so long as it is consistent.

Carol commented: "I took it on the chin but Matthew was really angry about it."

Craig Revel Horwood, one of the judges, commented:

"It's stupid to blow off about things like that. In my opinion, Carol was a disaster. She just needs to get on and correct it and stop whingeing about it."

Both Matthew and Carol did, in fact, respond well to the criticism.

Matthew said; "Getting bad remarks on Saturday (the day of the weekly show) will make us work harder." Working harder is the key to much success. Even if you learn to work smarter, work is still involved at some point!

Carol had a fighting response to the criticism:

"When Monday morning comes, you start afresh. The slate is clean The bouncing back starts with a Cha Cha Cha. Great! BRING IT ON! "

However, Matthew felt the judges' comments had harmed his partner's ability to do well:

"The judges have made my job much harder. Carol is saying 'I can't do it' in reference to the Cha Cha Cha. She would never have said that before."

Carol admitted: "Sometimes the fight leaves you but it is back."

Claudia Winkelmann, an interviewer, acknowledged her courage:

"Lots of people would lie down in the foetal position and say I'm not going back."

People, who desire any kind of success, have to learn to grow up, stand up and continue to take action when criticised.

Successful people accept the fact that if they want to win a competition, they will have to train and work very hard. They will not master the necessary information or skills in a second.

Karen made this point to Mark: "If you could get it in a second, we would have 3000 world champions wouldn't we?"

If anything is worth doing really well, it isn't going to be easy. Karen, like most successful people, had the sense and the training to accept this.

Karen and Mark always put in an exceptional amount of work. She commented: "You just hope that all the work you've put in will pay off. We've put the hours in. Practice makes perfect and that is how I've been trained. "

Brian Tracy, the great business guru and motivator, says much the same thing in relation to business success:

"The only way to learn to be successful in business is to practice, practice, practice. And if you're not willing to practice; if you're not willing to put in the time to learn, then it is not possible for you to succeed in business."

Sometimes the professional dancers lowered their standards to make life easier for their amateur partners. But one, at least, of the most successful amateurs refused to allow them to do this. She wanted to achieve the same high standards as the professional who partnered her.

During the week after the fifth performance, Erin Boag was asked what she considered the best dance of all the series. She referred back to week three of the second series when Darren Bennett, a champion professional dancer, and Jill Halfpenny, an actress, danced a jive to 'I'm still standing':

"It was just spectacular. It had anything and everything that you could ask for."

Both Jill and Darren decided they would produce a kick ass jive in response to the criticism that their rhumba in week two was 'pedestrian'.

Darren was full of respect for his partner: "Jill's desire to learn to dance was absolutely amazing. Jill would just work and work and work. You cannot ask for more than that. We went out there and literally danced full on."

The speed of the jive was the most difficult part of the dance for Jill. You don't have time to think. Jill asked her partner if he was dancing at his full speed. He said "No".

She said "What I want you to do is always to try to dance at your pace because I want to pick up your pace. I don't want you to pick up my pace."

The audience could see how hard she was working physically and responded.

They danced the jive again in the final.

The hall erupted after the performance and the judges all gave them a ten - the maximum score. They won the championship of the second series.

In the current series, the women amateurs realised that they would have to give everything to do well in the competition. The women professionals always looked stunning and the women amateurs realised that they too had to go in and give it the full wow factor. Someone remarked:

"Louisa Lytton's dresses have got smaller as she gets braver and as she gets better at the dancing and feels more confident."

The amateur men had to accept that they, also, had to do whatever it took to look the part. Arlene, one of the judges, gave her view: "Mark should cut his hair even if he is not happy about it - anything to win."

Another lesson from the show is that confusion will eventually dissipate if you keep working. The amateur dancers would frequently make comments like:

"It's very confusing. Why am I not getting it? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so confused. I get so confused about where we are. I don't understand that. What are we doing here?"

However, as they kept working and training, the penny would eventually drop and they would come out on the show night and give a half decent performance.

Carol Smillie said: "Every dance I do, I have two or three mental blocks where I think: 'I can't get this right'."

Matthew Cutler, her partner, commented: "Even when she has mental blocks she's done the dance so many times that by Saturday she does it alright."

At one point, Mark Ramprakash said: "I have lost the will to live. It is my usual feeling of confusion and feeling a total beginner."

However he kept going: "I am not going to let this Viennese Waltz get the better of me."

That afternoon, it all came together.

To sum up the success tips above:

Do not lie down 'in the foetal position' when criticised. Stand tall and take corrective action if the criticism is fair and use it as motivation if it is unfair. Sometimes the fight may leave you but it can also return.

You have to work very hard and practice hard to be successful If this were not so, everyone would be successful. Continued practice and learning is necessary in business as well as dancing.

People need not drag others down to their own level. Instead, they can strive, like Jill Halfpenny, to reach the standard of the superior performer. If someone else can achieve something so can you.

Anyone who wants to achieve outstanding success must be prepared to do whatever it takes to win even if it means cutting their hair and taking pains to appear at their best. Who knows; they might be able to create their own wow factor.

Confusion is a state most of us get into when learning anything new. If we keep trying hard and working hard, we will eventually move out of confusion into a state of reasonable clarity. Tony Robbins, the great motivator, teaches that we should rejoice when we are confused because, if we keep going, enlightenment will be just round the corner.

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Building a Shed - Three Routes to Success

What is the best way of building a shed? The answer to this question depends upon several factors including the type of DIY skills you have, the type of shed you want, the availability of local building materials, the availability and price of paying a local shed builder to do the work for you. There are three principal ways to go about building your shed, starting with the most time and skill intensive:

Building a shed from scratch. 

If you love woodwork, DIY and working with your hands this route will be the most satisfying. Unless you have some building design experience it is probably best to start off with an inexpensive set of shed plans. Building a shed in this way he is time intensive and will most likely result in a quality shed that you can be proud of. It may not necessarily be cheaper than a pre-made shed (depending on how your source your building materials) but the sense of satisfaction will be immense.

Shed kits and pre-fabricated sheds. 

If this is your first building project of this type this may be your best route. Shed building kits come in a variety of styles and complexity. These range from post and beam sheds at the most complex to kits where you nail together pre-cut timber and ply components at the other. There are also varying degrees of pre-assembly. Some sheds come as pre-assembled panels which are simply bolted together. The skill required here is mainly strength and the ability to use a hammer, screwdriver and spanner.

Employing a Shed Builder. 

For those who are short on time, skill or interest; employing a shed builder could be the best route. This can range from simply paying a local handyman to put together a shed kit to employing a full-blown shed building company to manage the project from start to finish. This would include completing the outline and detailed design to your specific requirements to finishing the last coat of paint.

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Success Tips From Rugby Union and Sevens Rugby - Avoid 'Gesture' Tackles

In the game of rugby union, fifteen players take the field to score tries for their team i.e. place the ball over the line at the far end of the field in 'enemy' territory. In American football, just crossing the line with the ball is enough.

Scoring tries is the glamorous part of rugby union and it usually involves one of the seven backs who run fast and free out on the open field in full view of any audience.

The scorer evades the tacklers and places the ball down over the try line to rapturous applause.

The eight forwards, on the other hand, do the boring, unglamorous work of getting hold of the ball from exhausting hard fought 'scrums' and 'lineouts'.

Punches are occasionally thrown and elbows are, sometimes, used in the dark recesses of the scrums. Spectators seldom know who does the hard work of winning the ball.

Occasionally, a forward with blood streaming from his head or a black eye staggers out from the scrum or line out and heads off to the blood bin for repairs.

While the scrum or line out is going on, the backs can get a breather to prepare themselves for their next flashy run up the field. The forwards, on the other hand, are continuously on the go to get the ball and to tackle the opposing backs and forwards. They are often gasping for oxygen and running on empty.

To be fair to the backs, they are also involved in defensive tackling and some, like Jonny Wilkinson, are famous for the committed way they do it. However, their tackling is usually done in full view of the spectators whilst people often don't know which forward has put in the most tackles.

The forwards are constantly on the go and have intense back breaking and often painful work to do every time there is a scrum or variation of a scrum like a maul or ruck. The words, maul or ruck, suggest quite rightly that these are not always pleasant experiences!

The backs then have the fun and glory of running free and scoring the majority of the tries. The forwards have the unrecognised, unglamorous, backbreaking and often painful work of winning the ball for the backs.

Occasionally, insult is added to injury when the backs drop or knock on that hard won ball and waste the huge effort just put in by their forwards.

The less glamorous work is usually the most important. If the ball is not won by the forwards, the backs will spend their time tackling rather than scoring tries.

You can probably guess that my role in rugby matches was that of a forward!

Much of many people's lives is spent as a 'forward'. If we want to succeed, we may well have to work for days without the fame, glory or results of the 'backs'. If we keep going, we may eventually achieve the success and recognition of the 'backs'.

There is a variation of rugby union called sevens which only involves seven players on each team playing for seven minutes in each half. There is a minute's rest at half time. This version of the game shares out the glory much more fairly since the pitch is the same size as the 15 a-side game and all seven players are highly visible and all have an excellent chance of scoring tries or at least of running with the ball.

Rugby Sevens was initially conceived by Ned Haig, a butcher from Melrose in Scotland, as a fundraising event for his local club in 1883. It is now a hugely popular game and spectator sport all over the world.

However, even though the glory is shared out more equally in sevens, there is still some less glamorous work to be done i.e. defensive tackling.

Many teams just give up when faced with the sight of a huge Fijian or New Zealander sprinting for the try line. They believe they have no chance of stopping such opponents.

The teams that believe they can stop the other side are in with a good chance of winning. In the recent London sevens tournament, France nearly beat the Fijians. Nearly beating the Fijians is a huge accolade in sevens rugby.

On Sunday, 27th May 2007, Wales also played Fiji in the Semi Finals.

Former England Coach, Joe Lydon, said that Wales had to have belief and commitment. They had to fight for every scrap and make Fiji work for absolutely everything. They had to get in their faces and frustrate them.

The Welsh showed their determination and belief early by not giving up when a big Fijian was striding majestically towards the try line. They brought him down before he could score to the surprise of everyone.

Too often in those situations, 'gesture' tackling takes place i.e. the tackler makes a despairing lunge at the try scorer and misses. Everyone then feels that the tackler has done his best. In fact he has not.

He has simply saved some of his energy for later on when it will be too late to get the necessary points back!

Again, in ordinary life, many people are tempted to make 'gestures' rather than real efforts to achieve their goals. The 'gesture' saves face but does not get the job done.

Eventually, brilliance told and Fiji scored. No matter how determined the Welsh defence, Fiji found a hole. The score was 14 - 0 at half time to Fiji

In the second half Wales ran out of steam and the Fijians, led by the great William Ryder, won quite easily. But Wales had impressed the spectators. They had done some of the difficult tackling work and had believed in their own ability. They were not making gestures and they meant business.

The London Sevens Final followed at Twickenham. It was a fascinating contest between two giants of the game. They had played 44 games against each other. Fiji had won 22 and New Zealand had won 22.

Waisale Serevi was in the Fijian squad. He is probably the greatest player ever to play in the sevens game. Serevi and the Fijians know how to stay cool in a tight spot but they can be frustrated by very determined opponents.

Neither Fiji, nor New Zealand players are 'gesture' players. Their national pride demands victory at all costs.

Afeleke Pelenise, the New Zealand top scorer, ran over the line for the first five points of the game. His head was bandaged and blood was pouring from his left temple. These were the scars of a previous battle against Samoa.

Fiji were rattled and frustrated by New Zealand. Zar Lawrence scored for New Zealand and waved his hand skyward in gratitude to God or the Universe. The score was 12 -0.

Then William Ryder scored and converted for Fiji - His amazing footwork makes him the Cristiano Ronaldo of Sevens. The score was 12 -7 to New Zealand.

In the second half Pelenise dropped the ball but Zar Lawrence scored and looked skywards again in gratitude to whatever God he serves.

The score was now 17-7 to New Zealand. 6 mins to go and 10 points the difference. Serevi the 38 year old playmaker and talisman for Fiji came on.

But Roy Kinikinilau collected the ball after a Fijian mistake and scored. New Zealand led by 24 -7

A Fijian player punched Stephen Yates who was lying on the floor. This was careless since the incident was in full view of everyone! The Fijian was sent off and New Zealander, Adam Thomson, scored from a touch line throw.

New Zealand had won the final 29 -7. Their head coach, Gordon Tietjens, smiled. The commentators remarked: "That is as animated as he gets. He might have a half pint this evening."

Gordon was told: "You made Fiji look mortal."

"We put pressure on them early," said Gordon.

He is a coach of high standards who understates and over delivers.

The New Zealanders kneeled in a circle and bowed their heads possibly in prayer and gratitude for their victory

In the 2004 New Zealand Sevens, the Kenyan team knelt in a similar manner to pray for victory against France who usually field a powerful team. Their prayers were answered and Kenya upset France by winning 28 - 21.

What success tips can we learn from fifteen a-side rugby and seven a-side rugby?

Someone has to do the boring and unglamorous work. Like that master of disguise, the Scarlet Pimpernel, and the fifteen a-side forwards you may have to make heroic efforts for some time without recognition of any kind except the knowledge in your own mind that you have done your best.

You have to believe you can bring down the best players on the other side and be willing to expend the huge effort necessary to do so. You must give up 'gesture' tackles and go for every tackle with the ferocious determination shown by England when they won the world fifteen a-side cup in 2003.

Despairing lunges must be ruled out of your repertoire. Like the mounties, you must get your man, no matter what. In other words you must not go in for gestures when faced with a huge problem. Giving up a few of your favourite foods may not be enough to help you lose weight.

You also have to believe that you can score tries against fierce opposition and be prepared to run like a Thomson's gazelle or an unstoppable rhino to do so.

Lawrence Dalaglio, captain of London Wasps rugby team, states emphatically that you have to believe you will win before a game starts. He repeated this belief at half time in the final of the Heiniken cup against Leicester in May 2007. Wasps won the match after going flat out from the start.

You may find the power of prayer to be a huge help in achieving victory. Don't forget to pray or give thanks both before, during and after playing. If you are not a believer in God, or even if you are, try believing in the power of your own imagination and visualise your success as vividly and with as many of your senses as possible.

Above all, enjoy watching rugby or any other sport and, at the same time, enjoy learning the key life skills that can transform your life. What works in sport usually works in ordinary life.

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Obstacles to Success. Why Don't I Believe In Myself and What Can I Do About It?

Why do so many of us lack belief in ourselves? How can we solve this problem and start discovering the huge power that belief in ourselves brings?

Millions of people do not believe in themselves enough to achieve their dreams or goals. They give up far too soon or they even give up when the goal is in their grasp.

I teach a martial art which encourages students to work hard and consistently to achieve their black belt. Some students drop out after two or three months but amazingly a few drop out when they are one grade away from their black belt.

I can only guess that some of these students do not believe that they deserve their black belt or they do not believe that they have the ability to pass the grading exam.

Some one has told them at some point in their lives that they are a pushover or a weakling or a lazy good-for-nothing. They believed that person and the belief lodged deep in their subconscious mind. This negative view of themselves was enough to stop them even attempting to take the black belt test.

Believing that we do not deserve success or lack the necessary ability can stop us even trying. It can paralyse us so much that even the smallest effort seems a waste of time.

One quick solution is to try anyway and not worry about the results. When I took my black belt test in Taekwondo, I did not believe that I deserved to succeed but I thought I would take the test anyway and see what happened.

Even if I had failed the test I could at least have felt the satisfaction of having given it a go. The real success lay in being willing to risk the possibility of failure.

A few years ago I went to the Tony Robbins' fire walk seminar held in the Arena at London Docklands. I did not believe I would walk unscathed over the hot coals. I took plenty of antiseptic ointment to rub on my blistered feet. I reasoned that as I weighed over eighteen stone, I would sink into the glowing coals and not be able to move my feet out of danger quickly enough!

Tony's pre-fire walk talk did not help too much. He told us how on his first fire walk he did not wash down his feet after the walk to get rid of any hot coals that had attached themselves to his feet. As a result he had a severe burn and when he accidentally bumped his foot against a chair, the pus poured out!

He also casually mentioned that two people had died after doing the firewalk at seminars not run by himself!!

As a result of all this, my belief that I would walk through the fire unscathed was not strong. All the words we were meant to be saying to ourselves as we did the walk went out of my mind. When my time came there was no time to think. I just walked anyway.

Fortunately, the walk was short and the coals were not deep enough to sink in to and two helpers were very quick to wash down my feet at the conclusion of the walk. In the end I did not need the antiseptic ointment. Doing the walk anyway had worked.

A more frightening seminar test was breaking an arrow whose point was lodged in the throat. A board was held tightly against the other end of the arrow and seminar attendees were encouraged to take one step forward boldly and in a state of belief that the arrow would break and not penetrate their throats!

Again, when it was my turn, I did not have any particular belief in my mind (apart from thinking that I was an idiot for doing this) but stepped forward anyway. Mercifully the arrow broke. Belief was not essential; doing it anyway was all that was necessary.

Another solution (apart from going ahead anyway) is to understand why people might have put you down in the past. If someone called you a weakling in the past, they may well have been trying to make themselves feel stronger at your expense. A really strong person will encourage others to become strong.

Someone who is a failure does not like the idea that someone they know will do better than themselves. They will tell you that you are wasting your time if you try to improve yourself.

I remember being called a big head at school when I moved up a form into a class where everyone was one year older than me. Some of the class could not bear to think that someone was doing better than they were. As a result of the criticism I stopped working hard for a couple of years and was fortunate to pass the exams.

Of course, the class might really have thought that I did have a big head both physically and mentally! When I reread this article it does come across as bigheaded! This, hopefully, is not my intention; I am just drawing from my own experiences rather than someone else's.

Another solution to the problem of lack of belief is to repeat a positive belief at speed so that doubts do not have a chance to take hold. Dave O'Connor of Educo has a series of exercises which develop this kind of instant belief.

Try this one. Stand with your eyes shut and your hands down by your sides. Start saying at speed something like this: "My right arm is attached to a helium balloon. The balloon is rising into the air pulling my arm upwards with it. My arm is going up, up, up, higher and higher, up, up, up. The more I resist, the higher it goes. Higher and higher, up, up etc."

See what happens! Usually at Dave's seminars, most people's hands do go up. There is always someone, however, who is thinking thoughts like: "This is silly. The man's gone mad!" The hands of such people stay down! Too many doubts have been allowed to nest in their minds.

Once you get good at controlling your thoughts and beliefs through exercises like the one above, you can apply the power of belief to every activity in your life and start creating miracles. You can learn to shut out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive ones.

So then, go ahead anyway even if you lack belief in yourself. The belief will come after you have acted and seen the results. Realise that many people don't like to see the success of others. They will try to make you think you are a fool if you try anything ambitious. Finally, think and move fast so that doubts have no time take root in your mind.

Alexander the Great, led his men into battle without letting them rest before the battle. He did not give time for doubts and fears to nest in their minds. So go ahead anyway. Ignore the critics and get a move on!

See Also : Civil Engineering Webboard Civil Engineering Civil Engineer Soil Label

Success Tips From Surviving In The Costa Rican Rain Forest

Recently, Bear Grylls, a survival expert, parachuted into the rain forest of Costa Rica. This is one of the most dangerous jungles in existence. It consists of over 300 square miles described as the most biologically intense place on earth.

Ninety four people had to be rescued there last year by the Red Cross. Bear described the purpose of his visit: "My mission is to show you the skills you need to survive the rain forest and find your way out."

Part of success is finding your way and visualising the end result of finding your way. Bear Grylls visualised the warm bed which would be available when he reached civilisation.

Most of us already have a warm bed available but do not appreciate it enough! Many of us do not appreciate our computers enough.

To find our way home all we need to do is check out

http://maps.google.com Enter your home address, and then press 'enter'.

If you would like an aerial view, just click the 'satellite' button when the map appears. Of course, Bear lacked both a nice, warm bed and a computer!

He had only a knife and a water bottle. People that get lost in the jungle often have only the clothes on their back. Bear landed in the trees sixty feet up. He abseiled to the ground in style.

He decided to head downhill to find a stream or river to follow out of the jungle. There are many jaguars in this area of the rain forest but snakes and smaller creatures are more of a danger.

The forest undergrowth was really thick. Bear was getting nowhere: "I need another plan." Successful people are not afraid to change their plans when necessary.

Lacking an aerial photo or computer, he had to climb the highest tree he could find to see a way out. This was risky.

Above the canopy all he could see was miles and miles of jungle in every direction. However he did see a slight depression in the jungle where one side was higher than the other. This suggested a river and gave Bear a possible direction.

Just walking along you need to be careful where you step. If you step over a log or grab a vine without looking you could be bitten. He spotted a fer de lance snake:

"These guys are responsible for more deaths in Central and South America than any other snake. Fer de lance means Lance Head. If that struck and bit me, I could well be dead before nightfall."

Many snakes are highly dangerous. Two million people report snake bites every year. 60,000 of those who are bitten, die. Most of us fail to appreciate the comparative safety of our own lives and appreciation is a huge part of success. We tend to get more of what we are grateful for.

He spotted a stream and followed it for direction and water. You can survive three weeks without food but you can only survive a couple of days with out water.

If the water is fast flowing and creatures like cray fish are swimming around, it is probably harmless. It tasted good to Bear who drank freely.

The route Bear was following might not be the quickest or safest but: "This route is all I've got." Successful people do not sit around moaning that they do not have all the info they need. They just use what they have.

He next came up against a steep waterfall. To go round it would take a couple of hours and it would be dark by then. He climbed down using some vines.

To make a shelter for the night, Bear needed a sharp knife. He found a quartz like stone which he smashed and ground and smeared on to some wet wood with the bark removed.

He then drew the knife up and down the stick to sharpen it. Skills are the ingredients of both survival and success.

Bear left the stream to find plants to eat. They are the easiest source of food in this jungle. They are plentiful and they don't run away:

"Avoid bright red berries and, in most cases, plants with a milky sap. Test the juice on your skin to see if you react and try eating a tiny piece but be ready to spit it out."

He found some black mouth berries which were packed with good natural sugars. Healthy eating and taking care of yourself is a key part of success.

Bear now looked for a place to shelter. The rain forest is a few degrees north of the equator. Days and nights are the same length in this area.

Falling trees and branches are the biggest killers of people in the jungle so you need to find clear ground well away from trees.

He needed a shelter because it was the rainy season and he also needed a fire not to keep warm but to give himself a break from the mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are annoying and can carry diseases like dengi fever and malaria.

Clear the ground with a stick and not your hands. There could be snakes or scorpions around. When I was a small boy in a concentration camp in China, I saw my father's back badly swollen from the sting of a scorpion.

Its venomous sting cannot usually kill a healthy adult but the venom of some types of scorpions can kill the young, sick and elderly.

He used his knife and a branch as a hammer to cut down some small trees to help build his shelter. He used a makeshift bow and three pieces of wood to start a fire and put a termite nest on the fire to help drive off the mosquitoes.

Successful people use whatever they have available to achieve their goals.

Bear had a bad night of diarrhoea and vomiting and hardly slept at all. He felt cold and shivery. He was not sure what he had done wrong. He hoped he was not suffering from dysentery - a severe form of diarrhoea.

"I think I have just picked up a tummy bug perhaps by touching animal crap."

Maybe it was the water Bear had drunk. Boil water for at least 5 minutes before you drink it.

Diarrhoea drains the body of water and salt and you are then vulnerable to heat stroke. Every year, hikers die because they don't drink enough water.

Even though the jungle can make you sick it can also help you if you know what to look for. Bear, like all successful people, does not give up even when he is ill.

Instead, he remembered a milk tree - nature's milk of magnesia - which he had passed half a mile back. He climbed back up the waterfall.

Nearly half the medicines we use were developed from rain forest plants. The pain killer Ibuprofen was synthesised from a vine called the monkey ladder tree.

Bear found the milk tree and sucked out the milky sap which would settle his stomach. Normally, milky sap is a sign of danger but not in this case.

He headed back down the stream and his appetite started to return. He cut down a palm sapling and ate some heart of palm. The centre is white and sweet and tastes a bit like asparagus.

"You can almost taste the nutrition in this."

Bear got ready for another night in the jungle. He cut some sap from a camphor tree. Camphor is the stuff moth balls are made from and has the same repelling effect on mosquitoes as it does on moths.

He also used the camphor resin to help create a torch which would help him find shrimp or crayfish. Four crayfish made him a decent meal. His spirits were lifted as he watched the crayfish cook.

In a survival situation, the battles are won or lost in the mind. There is a story about Marcos Martinez, a 17 year old, who was separated from his uncle in this area and spent thirteen days and nights on his own in the jungle living off green bananas and contaminated water from the streams .

After 40 kilometres of walking a sick, dehydrated and disoriented Marcos staggered out of the jungle.

He said that what scared him most was thinking about the animals in the night but his faith in God kept him going. Whatever you use to keep up your spirits will help you survive. Sometimes it is nothing more than camp fire food which keeps you motivated. Successful people find ways to keep their spirits up.

It rained all night and the shelter worked for only about four hours. By morning Bear was drenched and demoralized.

He did not want to spend another sleepless night in the jungle. He wanted to get out of the jungle as fast as he could especially because he no longer had the river to himself.

There were spectacled caymans, close relatives of the crocodile, moving menacingly through the shallows. Further down river there might be American crocodiles which were twice as big and ten times as nasty:

"If I meet them I could be in real trouble. I am keeping the stick with me. You should never get near a crocodile but if you do the advice is to go for its eyes and its nostrils."

Successful people like to be well prepared for possible trouble. Robert Ringer leaves nearly two hours spare to catch his plane. You never know what hassles may interrupt your best plans in the real world as opposed to the ideal world. The jungle is definitely part of the real world.

The river was now wider. Bear looked forward to completing his mission:

"There is every chance that by tonight I could be in a warm, cosy bed."

He crossed the river poking with his stick to scare any river snakes away. On the other side, he cut down a balsa tree which could be the base of his raft. He used the bark to strap his logs together.

He headed down river and found the floating to be much faster than walking. He noticed that he was now passing mangroves - salt tolerant plants that grow out of the water. The tide was going out fast and pulling him along at a rate of knots:

"If I am not careful I could be carried straight out into the Pacific."

Bear tried to find a way out through the mangrove swamp but found it a nightmare. He spent three hours climbing through the swamp but was getting nowhere.

He decided to get back on his raft and take his chances on the river. He reached the mouth of the river just as the tide was going out and was pulled out into the Pacific ocean.

"If you are caught in a current like this don't fight it. You will just exhaust yourself. Just paddle parallel to the shore and sooner or later you will get out of the current and you can then swim for shore."

Successful people do not panic. They stay calm, preserve their energy and use their brains.

Bear did all this and soon reached a beautiful beach He had no idea where the beach was but did not care because he saw the blinking of electric lights a couple of miles up the sand. He could relax now because electricity meant people and people meant safety.

The jungle can be intimidating when you are lost and it can quickly sap your strength. But it is an extraordinary world. It is also a world that is getting smaller. Every second, an area the size of a football pitch is gone. One day a rain forest to get lost in might not exist.

Bear commented: "I hope that day never comes because it is such a special place but, for me, it is definitely time to go home."

Survive or succeed, then, by finding your way with whatever tools you have, by visualizing your goals, by adapting your plans, by learning useful skills, by keeping up your morale, by being well prepared, by appreciating and using what you have and by staying safe and healthy!

Above all, success follows action. Bear Grylls keeps moving and taking action even when he is ill. If we follow his example, we will not go far wrong.

Thanks To : Civil Engineering Webboard Drainage Works Soilberry Civil Engineer Work

Success Tips From an Action Film - "I Can Do This!"

In Under Siege 2, an action film made in 1995, Steven Seagal, as Casey Ryback, an ex-Navy seal, fights a murderous gang of mercenaries on a train travelling through the Rocky Mountains from Denver to Los Angeles.

Casey has the help of a nervous, black porter, with a poor self-image, called Bobby Zachs. The gang have the help of many weapons, years of villainous experience and chopper support. Millions of lives depend on Casey defeating the mercenaries.

Bobby, the porter, learns at least one useful self defence technique from Ryback's niece, Sarah, and from watching Ryback himself. Gradually his confidence in his own fighting prowess grows and he repeats a new mantra to himself: "I can do this."

This mantra or affirmation which is so similar to Obama's 'Yes, we can!' slogan changes his self-image rapidly until he can see himself as a clone of Ryback himself. At one point Ryback tells Bobby:

"Climb that ladder and commandeer the helicopter. It might not work but give it a try!"

Bobby is now so confident that he repeats: "I can do this!" as he climbs the flimsy ladder to the helicopter which is hovering over the hijacked train. He crowds out negative thoughts and doubts by the non-stop repetition of "I can do this" and climbs the swinging ladder to the chopper.

He uses the joint lock he learned earlier from Ryback's niece to overcome a leather clad, female mercenary who is a kind of super ninja. He throws her out of the helicopter and 'commandeers the helicopter' by holding a gun to the pilot's head. He can, in fact, 'Do this'!

Obviously the story is not fact but fantasy but it mirrors what can happen in real life. People try new things knowing that they may or may not work. If they do work, they can enjoy the feeling of victory and the knowledge that "I can do this." Their self-image changes.

Barack Obama has been through just such an experience. So has Lewis Hamilton, the new black world champion of Formula One racing. Their self image has now changed for ever and so has the self image of every black person throughout the world.

By changing their own self-image they have also changed the images that many white people have of black people. Black people will now be looked on with greater respect and even admiration by those white people who had not yet learned that 'the content of your character' is much more important than the colour of your skin.

Peoples' self image concerning what they can and cannot do gradually changes as they try out new things and then more and more things become possible to them. Dr. Maxwell Maltz explained this phenomenon years ago in his classic best seller, 'Psycho-Cybernetics."

"The self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand the self-image and you expand the "area" of the "possible."

Far too many of us have built up false images of our selves from childhood by being told we can or cannot do this or that. We may even create our own negative self-images by being afraid to try out new things in case we fail. If we never even try to skate, we become convinced we cannot skate.

Like Bobby Zachs, we need to try out new things to see if we can do them. Bobby, in my opinion, is the true hero of Under Siege 2. He becomes a success by expanding his self-image and the area of what is possible for him.

We can do the same. As the President Elect has suggested, when people tell us 'You can't do this!', we should reply with confidence: 'Yes, we can!"

Stuart Goldsmith in his best seller 'The Midas Method' describes how most people lived squashed and cramped lives under the glass ceiling which they believe marks out the limits of their potential.

If only they could change their thinking about themselves - their self image- they could raise this ceiling to undreamed of heights. Both Maxwell Maltz and Stuart Goldsmith preach the same message.

Stop underestimating and undervaluing yourself and your life will change dramatically. Goldsmith does not base his views on fantasy but on his own rags to riches story.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz created his self-improvement bestseller: 'Psycho-Cybernetics' at age 61, as the climax to an exceptionally varied career.

For many years, Dr. Maltz was a successful cosmetic surgeon and inspiring self-help author. He moved from treating "outer scars" to "inner scars" after realizing that cosmetic surgery did not cure the unhappiness of his patients.

The real 'surgery' needed to be performed on the self-images of his patients. Their perceptions of themselves were distorted by often false beliefs embedded in their subconscious minds from an early age.

We all need to take a knife to the false images we have of ourselves. Many of these were probably created during our childhood when we were only too ready to believe authority figures who told us who and what we were.

These authority figures often got it wrong and we ourselves may well have contributed to these false images by being too critical of ourselves.

Remember the words of Bobby Zachs and President Elect, Barack Obama. Quote them to yourself on a daily basis:

'I can do this!' and

'Yes, we can!'.

As our self-image changes so will the boundaries of our achievements.

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